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So the objective of this game is to continue with a kill/save relationship for as long as possible. I'll explain.
So the rules for this are simple. The first person to post will find a way to try and 'kill' uhhhh let's go with... Joe. (This was completely random) And the second person has to find a way to 'save' Joe.
Ex.
Person 1) Oh no! A flying piano suddenly landed on Joe! (Kill)
Person 2) But Joe dodged just in time! (Save)
Person 3) But it turns out Joe is allergic to strange flying pianos! (Kill)
And so on and so forth. Get it? I'll start.
Oh how tragic! Joes was mauled by a cat! (Kill)
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But thank the heavens! An alien swooped in and fixed him up, because he was an important subject of study, in a compressed time zone on its ship before delivering him safely back home in his bed. (SAVE)
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But Joe did not know that the Alien injected him with a poison, that traitor! (Kill)
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Oh my, good thing he always carries around every kind of antidote! (Save)
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What a shame that he used up all his antidote, he won't be able to find another for a while. (Kill)
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Surprise! A super venomous coral snake snuck into his bed just as he was about to die, and bit him! This poison counteracted the one in his blood! What an odd way to go about it--someone upstairs must be laughing! (SAVE--Zaro, you really want to kill poor Joe, don't you?)
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God seems really to have taken a liking too our little Joe, but the man downstairs wants him gone! He plots for an hour until he finally strikes. EARTHQUAKE. (Kill - c:)
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Joe's house happened to be located on a rather sturdy rock formation, therefore avoided being sucked into an ensuing giant sink hole. ((SAVE. Evil smile! Don't chu play innocent!
I almost had him get thrown into a tornado--and land in a tree, safe, but then I was like, "that is way too much for all the hapless idiots around this guy."))
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The red dude foresaw this, and due to the many people affected a lot died! But oh dear... it looks like Joe's brother was killed in this terrible accident. Joe loved his brother and went into deep depression and he is deadly allergic to depression! (Kill)
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((WTF. XD AS WE WATCH A MOVIE!))
But then a woman, as beautiful as an angel (she is a farmer), accidentally bumped into him, and oh! He was enamored the moment their eyes met! Now he has a reason to live, and move on! (SAVE.)
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Oh no! On their wedding day, a jealous ex-boyfriend of the farmer girl viciously attacks Joe! (Kill)
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To which the farmer girl, Angela, retaliates by shooting her ex-boyfriend with an elephant gun--and then she kisses Joe fervently to reaffirm their love. (SAVE.)
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Joe was disgusted by this act of Angela's, as he is a religious man, and therefore breaks his relationship with her. What can save him from depression now!? (Kill)
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Over the course of his depression, Joe's mother brings him a dog, something he has always wanted! (Save because puppiesfixeverything//shot)
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Out of playful passion, the puppy bites Joe infecting him with rabies! (Kill)
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((WHERE DID THE RABIES COME FROM? XD No sense.))
So he is rushed the hospital and comes out none the worse two days later. (SAVE)
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On his way out of the hospital, Joe is savagely squished by an old man in a wheel chair! (Kill)
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But also working there as a nurse, his mother has rolled over the old man just before he could roll over her son! (SAVE)
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Joe is upset that his mother plowed over a sweet, ravage old man and storms out into the street, only to be mugged by yet another old man! (Kill)
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Suddenly the old man is run over by a wheelchair not left with the brakes on. (Save c:)
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((I don't want to kill him! D:))
A rip in the time-space continuum opens and a giant cartoon anvil comes crashing down-- (Kill...)
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Oh dear! A massive bear comes out from nowhere and tackles Joe out of the path of the flying anvil! (Save)
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Suddenly the bear turns rabid and attacks Joe! (Kill)
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Oh! But suddenly a weird mystical lady blasts the bear and turns it into a cute little bunny! (Save)
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But the bunny still has the instincts of a rabid bear and attacks Joe again! (Kill)
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Gah! Oh but the lady foresaw this, and shoots a ball of fire at the rabid rabbit, destroying it! (Save)
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Oh no! The ball of fire hit Joe, giving him a 3rd-degree burn! (Kill- and BUUUURRNNNNN)
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((LOL))
My, my good thing a spuratic rain shower fell over Joe, and it had healing powers! (Save)
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it just so happen that the rain was acid nuclear rain and burned his skin as it came in contact (kill)
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Good thing his great great uncle was godzilla so he ate the nuclear rain and got the sustenance to live a happy life. (Save)
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Need a knife and be a physcho! (Kill)
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But all of sudden, his best friend Bob came and took his knife and Joe was normal again (Save)
(Wow Joe was through so many adventures. He is Indiana Jones now)
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But Bob was angered by the awful act of Joe's and thrust the dagger into his chest! (Kill)
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But right before Bob could stab Joe, an old lady came and yelled 'BAD BOB!' then Bob was sad and left. (Save)
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The old lady gave Joe a cookie, but it was poisoned! Just before, Joe used up all his potion, what can save him? (Kill)
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But yay! Harry Potter came out of nowhere in a fabulous ballerina tutu and did a spell called Idontknowitsname and cured Bob (Save)
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Oh no! While the spell cured the poison, it malfunctioned and Joe burst into flames! (Kill)
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BUT!
Someone threw a water bucket at him and he stopped burning! Hooray! (Save)
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But Joe was severely scarred by his burns and never showed stayed inside for a year! Because of this, Joe was dangerously low on Vitamin D.
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So he got some Vitamin D injections from a genius specialist (who also doubled as a psychiatrist and plastic surgeon to fix up his burns as well as his ailed mind) and all was well again! (S A V E)
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But the doctor was really just a quack and gave Joe too much, causing him to be poisoned by vitamin D! (Kill)
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Pshew! Good thing Gandalf the Grey came and saved Joe using his super wizard powers! (Save)
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But a rampaging huge husky picked up joe and took him to the husky's laboratory to experiment on him! (KILL)
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(...Should I be concerned? LOL)
It turns out that the HUSKY was actually a person in disguise who just wanted a friend. (S A V E)
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This dude has got some seriously screwy luck. xD
But the husky (who was actually a person) was Cujo's owner and Cujo bit Joe! (KILL)
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Miraculously, a dog catcher was nearby and snatched the husky-man up in a net!
(SAVE)
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Unfortunately, Joe promptly stumbled into a fight between a mob of Belibers and a mob of Directioners, both of which are using cattle prods! (KILL)
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((O.o I give you a nuzzle for that one, sir!))
But suddenly! Both "bands" appeared out of the blue, having been attempting to get away from the world (not really), and so all the fans put aside their differences to chase after the objects of their affections--leaving Joe unscathed and alone! (SAVE)
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But Joe was not safe yet! A bunch of old-timers from the nearby Old Peoples Home ("Rusty Shelf") came to investigate the chaos coming from the Directioners and Beliebers - they were so angry at the youth of today that they started a riot! Joe was caught up in a crowd of a slow-moving and coughing hoard, soon to be punched by an old sailor. (Kill)
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But the old sailor didnt want to punch him, the old sailor wanted to take him to Wonderland! Yay! (Save)
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that gif anca omfg ))
Joe and the old Sailor made it safely to Wonderland. But, not all is as it seems.. the old sailor was The Walrus and he was taking him to his friend The Carpenter for dinner. Joe was magically transformed into a clam! (Kill)
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You like it dontcha lmfao))
But Spongebob came out of nowhere riding Squidward, then threw KrabbyPatty at Joe and he was normal again, then they took Joe on the DeathStar and threw a party there (Save)
Much logic))
Very))
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Joe got dancing with a lovely looking lady who appeared to be Princess Leia! Darth Vader over the years bonded with his daughter and did not approve of Joe... let the battle begin! Darth Vader strikes first at Joe's legs and badly injures him. (Kill)
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Omf))
But Han Solo popped out and smacked Darth Vader then magically cured Joes leg (Save)
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But Han Solo learned of Joe's 'intimate' dancing with his girl friend, the princess, and turned against Joe! He struck him in the head and knocked Joe clean out. (Kill)
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all of a sudden, a magical lion in a space suit comes and heals Joe, and puts explosives on the princess and makes everything explode and flies back to earth with Joe on his back
(save )
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But when they got to Earth, a rampaging Tyrannosaurus Rex spotted them and came charging to kill them. (KILL- Poor Joe :c)
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But the T-Rex wasnt charging at them, it was charging at a tree! Dinos these days... (Save)
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LOL XD
But then the tree turned out to be a Dryad and threw the T-Rex at Joe because it was angry. (KILL)
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But thank God, Joe ran away as fast as he could and the T-Rex didnt land on him! (Save)
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But then the T-Rex was a flying T-Rex with wings, and so it flew to Joe and sat on him. (KILL)
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But then joe had ate spinach and became pop-eye and through the flying t-rex into a hotdog stand! (save)
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Gah! The T-Rex merely /tipped/ the hotdog stand, causing it to fly into the air and land upon Joe! (Kill)
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But Joe still had pop-eye strength and took it off and throwing it at the t-rex and killed it causing no more t- rex problems :D (save)
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((When did a Tyrannosaurus Rex enter the equation? XD Cannot compute. No input.))
And that's when all of a sudden... a suspicious looking bystander ripped open his shirt, revealing explosives. He wanted to take down the T-Rex! But Joe is now the new target, since he had Pop-Eye strength that rid the world of the T-Rex. This is inhuman! He must die! (KILL)
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But then the weather suddenly changed and a snowstorm came crashing down! The explosives almost got to Joe but froze and looked really cool!
(SAVE)
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Oh dear! It appears that it was so cold, Joe became hypothermic! (Kill)
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But he was able to take refuge in a nearby library with heaters built for this sort of weather! (SAVE)
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But then the heaters became to HOT and joe started melting! (KILL)
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Thank goodness! The librarain saw this and fixed him up! All handsome and new! (save)
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Oh no! The librarian "accidentally" poisoned him during the process, and Joe has no more healing potions, as they were used up a long time ago!
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Oh good thing the other dwellers in the library had found a secret antidote recipe in one of the books! They brewed that up and Joe was cured! (Save)
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But the library dwellers did not have experience in potion making and Joe went into a deadly shock-state! (Kill)
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So then a random cactus cured Joe of his deadly shock-state by poking him. (Save)
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Good thing Joe's friend Mickey was here to save Joe! (SAVE)
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Oh no! I wild pack of wolves got into town to look for Joe! He didnt pay his restaurant bills! They found him and dragged him in the forest. XD (kill)
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The rabies mutated in Joe's bloodstream giving him super strength and healing powers, the only downside is that now his skin is purple and his hair is yellow. (Save.)
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Oh no! Justin Beiber had been bitten too. JB sings one of his horrible songs, and it ruins Joe's hearing for life, pains him to no end, AND he loses the superpowers AND the cool skin! (Kill)
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But! Justin couldnt stand his own songs and explodes!
Joe ran away as fast as he could home and his granny gave him a potion and his cool skin and hair was back. (Save)
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Joe instantly found a large praying mantis that ate him! (kIlL yEs.)
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An abnormal titan suddenly came out of no where and stepped on the prey mantis and joe popped out! (SAVE)
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But the Mantis was actually an alien that transformed into a big Loch Ness Monster and it swinged it's head to send Joe flying! (Kill)
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Joe suddenly seen a snorlax and landed on it! (save)
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But oh no, the snorlax then proceeded to eat Joe! (kill)
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But wait! What's this? Joe seemed to have berries in his pocket, which was what the snorlax was after. The snorlax reached in his pocket and had stolen the berries, now leaving Joe well enough time to escape! (save >:3)
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But the snorlax wanted more, he saw Joe as a steak so he wanted to eat him! (Kill)
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Joe yelled and all of a sudden, every thing turned, black and white and slow-mo! It was anough time to get away from the snorlax but, the snorlax couldnt get up anyways. "SAVE"
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But then, everything went back to normal and Joe was scooped up by a huge eagle! The eagle then placed Joe in its nest to feed its chicks. (kill)
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But then a flying robot alicorn flies in a picks poor Joe up and flies into the horizon! (save)
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But turns out, the Alicorn was a demon Alicorn who wanted to eat Joe (Kill)
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But then, Pinkie Pie jumps out of a portal and saves Joe from the Demon Alicorn. She takes him through the portal into a safe place called Ponyville. (save)
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But then, instantly Pinkie Pie turned out to be evil! She threatened to feed Joe to her pet alligator, Gummy!
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But Gummy doesn't have teeth so this plan is over! (Save)
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Hades, the God of the Underworld, is upset and decides to take a few people to deadlandia. Joe happens to fit the bill for the kind of sorry souls he's looking for! At least now he won't have to worry about dying, poor guy! The worst of luck! (Kill.)
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But then Hercules comes along and foils Hades' evil plan! (Save.)
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Well, Arceus comes in his rage mode and shoots meteorites everywhere, while one of those meteorites falls exactly onto Joe! (Kill)
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But of course Ash rides in on his charizard with the lovely descendant who-can-transcend and they calm him down in the nick of time---and Joe's death didn't end up being a nasty corollary--for Arceus took it all back! He is the Creator, The Giver of Life, after all. He attempts to make amends to Joe by giving him charms--of a sorts. So he will be protected against further misfortune. (Save.)
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After the happy life Joe had a mysterious shadow comes onto his home town. He is curious and goes investigating and soon gets kidnapped by Aliens! (Kill)
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yet the aliens forgot he had an inside alien who blew up the ship (Save.)
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But Joe forgot that he wasn't invincible! He blew up with the ship too (Kill)
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A light ball surrounds Joe. He realized it was going to help him out. (Save)
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All of a sudden the light ball turns into glass and shatters with shards of glass impaling him. (Kill)
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Bizarrely enough, all of the glass shards go clean through! Spinning around in space, a nearby space ship sees an unconscious Joe, and picks him up, healing his wounds! What a Save! (Save)
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But then poor Joe ends up offending the creatures, being unable to understand their language--and they are unable to understand his sufficiently, either. Saying, "Thanks," on their world is the equivalent of various profanities in Joe's (with dishonor to boot!) They are an honor-based society, so offer him the right to die by combat... He cannot possibly win against the imposing First Commander of the Garthusian Fleet. Whoop! There goes the first spear! (Kill.)
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But just in time, he dodges the spears!