Had a hard time reading this due to mass amounts of red texts, but glad to have you back! Don't recall ever meeting you, but I'd love to hear more from you!
Life comes first, if you're going through issues irl, take the time you need and let yourself relax. Don't be sorry for continuous absences, you have a reason for why you've been gone, you shouldn't have to apologize for anything of the sort whatsoever.
We all have our moments, Shadow, I may not be tremendously good at advice. But if you're ever feeling sick, angry, or in any sense of pain. Take a few deep breathes, lay down if you can and relax. Best thing to do if you have a terrible back problem is to make sure you keep your spine straight, but don't strain yourself. It also helps me a lot to sit back flat against a wall for a little while 'til it feels better.
We've all made mistakes here and there, most of mine are quite dense, and I still regret them today. I would expect anyone whom you've created issues with to possibly have a grudge. But most people would be forgiving of the mistakes you've made, such as I.
But anyway
WELCOME BACK TO LAST MOON!