Oh the one you have up looks pretty good but
Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be rude but, I'm pretty the CREATOR of this RP has a file with all the concepts she has so far and I don't think you even asked her to put this up.
I think you should leave this stuff for her as this story is probably older then you can even think. I, myself, being there when this RP idea was first created think you should ask her first.
Either way keep up the good job!